Stuff My Students Said

Napoleon

megan — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 05:35:33 +0000

The Classical Period took place from 1750 to around 1830. It was the time of Thomas Jefferson, the American and French revolutions, and the rise and fall of Napoleon Dynamite.

Where does the sound go?

megan — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:58:53 +0000

During a high school orchestra rehearsal…

Mrs. G: “Students, the gong sounds really good in this piece, but what happens when you stand in front of it while you play? Where does the sound go?”

H.S. Percussionists: “In your butt.”

Von Tramp

megan — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:56:30 +0000

Student: “We should play something from The Sound of Music.”

Teacher: “Yes, we’re going to! We’re doing a Broadway-themed concert for our next performance.”

Student: “Good. I really like that von Tramp family.”

Macrotchas

megan — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:53:51 +0000

(During another band rehearsal)

86-year-old trumpet player: “I want to play the macrotchas!”

Teacher: *Sigh* “The WHAT?”

Trumpet player: “THE MACROTCHAS! ARE YOU DEAF?”

Teacher: “Maracas?”

Trumpet player: “THAT’S WHAT I SAID! MACROTCHAS!!!!”

Tiffany, timpani…same thing

megan — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:52:09 +0000

During a band rehearsal…

74-year-old trumpet player: “We should get Tiffany in here!”

Teacher: “Tiffany?”

Trumpet player: “Yes, Tiffany. That would be really nice.”

Teacher: “Who is Tiffany?”

Trumpet player: “You know, TIFFANY. I really think that would be helpful.”

Teacher: “WHO IS TIFFANY?”

Trumpet player: “You know! Tiffany drums!”

Teacher: “Ohhhhh. Timpani.”

Alright!

Rose — Tue, 04 May 2010 02:33:11 +0000

Student: Guess what Miss Rose! I can play the whole piece with only one mistake!

-8-year old student at the start of a lesson before playing My Very Friendly Pup

Chip off the old block

Rose — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:03:11 +0000

Teacher: You have a ‘poco rallentando’ here. Do you know that that means?

Student: No.

Teacher: Well you know what ‘poco’ means.

Student: Little.

Teacher: Yes. Good! Now the rallentando – that means very gradually slowing down.

Student: Well then why isn’t it ritardando?

Teacher: Good question! Ritardando means gradually slowing down. But rallentando is a bigger gradual slowing down.

Student: So, rallentando is like, … ritardando’s dad?

Teacher: (laughs)

Student: Yeah! Ritardando’s pops!

Maybe a little

Rose — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:55:20 +0000

Student: Is this a G?

Teacher: Yes, it is.

Student: (screams) Allllllright! Cooool! Oh yeaaaaah!

(student goes back to the music and repositions her hands)

Student: (clears throat) ….that was an overreaction.

And don’t you forget it

Rose — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:53:22 +0000

Teacher: Remember, you have to use your left hand here.

Student: *stops – uses right hand to scold left hand* You’re left! Remember you’re left. Now left, you play!

Posessed.

Rose — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:50:35 +0000

Teacher: Now, is this a tie or a slur?

Student: A tie!

Teacher: No, this one’s a slur.

Student: Well, the devil told me to say it was a tie.