Napoleon
The Classical Period took place from 1750 to around 1830. It was the time of Thomas Jefferson, the American and French revolutions, and the rise and fall of Napoleon Dynamite.
Where does the sound go?
During a high school orchestra rehearsal…
Mrs. G: “Students, the gong sounds really good in this piece, but what happens when you stand in front of it while you play? Where does the sound go?”
H.S. Percussionists: “In your butt.”
Von Tramp
Student: “We should play something from The Sound of Music.”
Teacher: “Yes, we’re going to! We’re doing a Broadway-themed concert for our next performance.”
Student: “Good. I really like that von Tramp family.”
Macrotchas
(During another band rehearsal)
86-year-old trumpet player: “I want to play the macrotchas!”
Teacher: *Sigh* “The WHAT?”
Trumpet player: “THE MACROTCHAS! ARE YOU DEAF?”
Teacher: “Maracas?”
Trumpet player: “THAT’S WHAT I SAID! MACROTCHAS!!!!”
Tiffany, timpani…same thing
During a band rehearsal…
74-year-old trumpet player: “We should get Tiffany in here!”
Teacher: “Tiffany?”
Trumpet player: “Yes, Tiffany. That would be really nice.”
Teacher: “Who is Tiffany?”
Trumpet player: “You know, TIFFANY. I really think that would be helpful.”
Teacher: “WHO IS TIFFANY?”
Trumpet player: “You know! Tiffany drums!”
Teacher: “Ohhhhh. Timpani.”
Alright!
Student: Guess what Miss Rose! I can play the whole piece with only one mistake!
-8-year old student at the start of a lesson before playing My Very Friendly Pup
Chip off the old block
Teacher: You have a ‘poco rallentando’ here. Do you know that that means?
Student: No.
Teacher: Well you know what ‘poco’ means.
Student: Little.
Teacher: Yes. Good! Now the rallentando – that means very gradually slowing down.
Student: Well then why isn’t it ritardando?
Teacher: Good question! Ritardando means gradually slowing down. But rallentando is a bigger gradual slowing down.
Student: So, rallentando is like, … ritardando’s dad?
Teacher: (laughs)
Student: Yeah! Ritardando’s pops!
Maybe a little
Student: Is this a G?
Teacher: Yes, it is.
Student: (screams) Allllllright! Cooool! Oh yeaaaaah!
(student goes back to the music and repositions her hands)
Student: (clears throat) ….that was an overreaction.
And don’t you forget it
Teacher: Remember, you have to use your left hand here.
Student: *stops – uses right hand to scold left hand* You’re left! Remember you’re left. Now left, you play!
Posessed.
Teacher: Now, is this a tie or a slur?
Student: A tie!
Teacher: No, this one’s a slur.
Student: Well, the devil told me to say it was a tie.
